1. |
Make a New Friend
03:29
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make a new friend (try to remember) - remember the name (it rhymes with september) - not a new trend (but everyone's different) - always the same (but i know we're different)
birthdays (saturdays) - handshakes (hand grenades)
big hugs (eating cake) - everyone's a fake
cementing relationships - oh what a bore
cementing relationships - what are friendships for
i know stuff (i said i'd remember) - you know stuff (what's there to remember) - useless fluff (i think it rhymes with september) - knowing stuff just sucks
not what i know (it's who you know) - but who i know (robo afro) - and that's why we go (to secret shows) - to our little shows
cementing relationships - oh what a bore - cementing relationships - what are friendships for - cementing relationships - voicemails i can ignore - cementing relationships oh what a chore
all the old bones are gathered here inside my living room - smiles and wine are filling up all of my empty time - what do i think that's not a skeleton - in my walk in closet i have got them dangling
mnemonic devices (try to remember) - for remembering names (rhymes with september) - a squirrel is a squirrel (no faker than strangers) - but a human just ain't the same
this is my friend (best friends) - from long ago (from long ago) - I know his name now (what's his name) - because he's at my show
cementing relationships - oh what a chore - cementing relationships - my friend dan on bass guitar - cementing relationships - oh (hey!) what a c(b)hore - cementing relationships - what are friendships for
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2. |
Manatee
02:56
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manatee you call me you find me in the sea
sea cow don't know how you fuckin miss me
speed boat killed my nephew aunt and niece
miami around me polluting up my gulf stream
carefree manatee - jet skis you are the enemy
saltwater sweetwater upriver varieties
evolving for a million years was the bees' knees
lately propellers been carving up a killing spree
it seems humanity's going to be the death of me
carefree manatee - jet skis you are the enemy
floating fat mass of eternal serenity
americans should have empathy for my obesity
please please let me be ponderously
obviously land of the free don't apply to my species
carefree manatee - jet skis you are the enemy
carefree manatee - carefree manatee
jeffrey/carefree you're a/manatee - care(ful/free) of yo(h)u(r)manatiy(ee)
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3. |
Super Dave
02:53
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i'm dave i'm super dave
villians they will be vanquished but not today
i'm in a haze and it's ok because the city's safe
but dr. freebase is out on parole with marijuana to lace
...the people say...
dave - we've got a crack pipe if you want it
dave - we've got a crack pipe if you want it
the city is run amok and i am on my duff
wicked thugs and their processed luck are getting their yucks off of my hard earned bucks
up in a puff of smoke goes my job and i'm out on the street with a quota to meet
two bank heists and super villains thwarted each week
...the people say...
dave - we've got a crack pipe if you want it
dave - we've got a crack pipe if you want it
and if you take some of that money from the robberies you've stopped you can quit the hero biz and maybe join up with the mob
oh and dave - we've got a crack pipe if you want it
i'm on a cliff a precipice it's a slippery slope for a junk-eating joke
dr. freebase flies up in the air he gives me a look a comic book stare
he's got the potheads all smoking crack i know what i've got to do to fight back
rose clenched between my teeth i plunge into the darkness beneath
...the people say once more...
hey dave - we've got a crack pipe if you want it
dave - we've got a crack pipe if you want it
dave - we've got a crack pipe if you want it
no way - super dave is here to stay
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4. |
Mr. Fish
04:16
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my name is mr. fish i live behind a rock school is in session down the block so i go out for a walk i spend my money on the paper the current warns of impending danger but i forgot my lunch overhead there is free food to munch
in the newspaper i read the food reviews - the chum and chew opens half past two - i've heard about life up there where there is no air the missus has me on a diet i'm hooked on kelp but i want to try it i'm sick of seaweed every day my hunger for meat cannot be kept at bay
i hear my wife's voice in my head - let me cook you kelp instead - i tell myself i'm not a bisque that mr. fish is plenty quick but the meat inside my mouth tastes good and i go limp like she said i would the deal's been sealed for an ounce of flesh hey boys i'm headed for the nets
mr. fish mr. fish you're putting up a fight
but mr. fish mr. fish the missus was right
mr. fish mr. fish you've had your last bite
mr. fish mr. fish you're headed for the light
my name is mr. fish i live upon the ice this is water i have not known cold and hard not like home but my life it aint' so bad in fact i'm not even mad i don't have to think or swim or eat now i'm just a piece of meat
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5. |
AirWolf
04:40
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i fixed your bow tie you fixed my smile you let your clothes fly into a pile
burned that pile ran a mile found your blood floating in the mud
you ate your mountain you drank your river i laid some clothes out so you would not shiver
i brought a cake home ate it in the car by the time i heard you leaving i was breathing in the dark
since that last fight i've been hugging a rock waiting for the dogs to come
since you took flight me and my light been eyeing the night waiting for a dog to hug
you helped the moneys climb on your back you burned your books and your prayer mat
you left your guitar for the birds pushed your harpsichord into a gorge
escaped your tv escaped your city you built your house into the trees
worked like a smithy and in a jiffy you had your house burned to the ground
since that last fight i've been hugging a rock waiting for the dogs to come
since you took flight me and my light been eyeing the night waiting for a dog to hug
but with that fire so bright the wolves will eat me alive
won't you sit for just deserts tonight i baked a pie out of your breakfast lies tastes of hands hard upon my face oh i beg your pardon if i still need my space
cannot shear the sheep with the wolves so close all the dogs are barking at last winter's ghosts lawyers in the market rags on your feet put your name to parchment and i'll exchange the meat disappear into my world of law i'll sleep well tonight under air dog's paw
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6. |
Extra Heads
03:00
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universal healthcare bill in the mail today
i'm paying for my neighbor's cyborg legs
his robot wife having robot babies
bob barker on the tv saying get your robots spayed
cyborgs cyborgs humans are mutating
are they creating a cy-robot army
homeless people gonna be the ones who want the extra heads
homeless people gonna be the ones who want the extra heads
obamacare obamacare obamacare obamacare
homeless people gonna be the ones who want the extra heads
average joes now seem like they're all homos
coworker of mine named joe went and got prego
homo robots are at the baby shower
more and more dudes pregnant by the hour
homosexuals is knocking at my back door
does my brains taste good to homosexuals
homeless people gonna be the ones who want the extra heads
homeless people gonna be the ones who want the extra heads
obamacare obamacare obamacare obamacare
homeless people gonna be the ones who want the extra heads
stop - martian abortion - stop - plutonic sex
they're storming the intergalactic fence
i'm the only one incurring expense
abortion abortion innocent unborn martian
will the second trimester extend beyond the milky way
homeless people gonna be the ones who want the extra heads
homeless people gonna be the ones who want the extra heads
obamacare obamacare obamacare obamacare
homeless people gonna be the ones who want the extra heads.......................................................................................
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7. |
Sexual Candidate
03:33
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it is a big house it is a new car it could be your spouse and it will take you far it is all the things that i do not have it is chateau margaux and a back stage pass it's hiking part of the appalachian trail for its vay-kay and it is buying a soy mocha latte
here we go
it is a good sexual candidate (3x)
oh hey what is it
it knows all the nicknames of the safeways in town it bullshits through brunch and it buys the next round it blogs about the mysteries of your daily life the sleeves on its t-shirt were cut with a knife
and usually it's white
it is a good sexual candidate (3x)
hey hooah what is it oh
it's republican or a democrat it ain't no independent who'd vote for that
it is in a band and it's got facebook fans and it's a top 40 jam and it's a five year plan it is all the things that i've wanted to be maybe it's you because it sure ain't me it's got plans almost every friday and it's on top or behind or watching as you are getting paid
it is a good sexual candidate (3x)
hey hey what is it
it is a good sexual candidate (3x)
andandisit who is it
i am a good sexual candidate
you are a good sexual candidate
we are a good sexual candidate
oh hahuhah oh
it's tommy chong's bong or it could be this song
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8. |
Everybody Hates Jim
02:53
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he gets drunk at straight edge shows
he goes toe to toe and he throws elbows
he shows up at your parties he sneezes in your coke lines
he says you're gonna die so quit wasting all of your time
everybody hates jim but i love him (4x)
he doesn't like to give hugs and his handshake is limp
he doesn't believe in anything he's hot air like a blimp
you can toss your ethics out the door
tooting your horn about absolutes to him is a bore
everybody hates jim but i love him (4x)
he refuses grandma's christmas dinner because it's made of swine
he celebrates ramadan by eating in the daytime
he hands out raisins for halloween
he do not like bohemian rhapsody the song by queen
everybody hates jim but i love him (4x)
GO!
everybody hates jim but i love him (4x)
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9. |
Got a Job
04:46
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got a job got a job got a job today
steady pay healthcare and a 401k
curriculum vitae's going to get refined
9 to 9 computer chair bound to crush my spine
how do you turn this on
legal paper is the one that is long
and all the colored toner is gone
where does this plant belong
i used to think it was ok - for you to go to work all day
remember that you were blessed - to not have to send remittances
ain't no taxman goin greet you in the afterlife
backpay hey no way i hope you loved your life
jobs - everybody wants a job...jobs - everybody gets a job
lost my job lost my job lost my job today
sat me down wished me well with two weeks of pay
escorted out of the building with my cardboard box
suddenly i notice that i had holes in socks
what is gross misconduct - this duck feels plucked
and i have a got a mistress' luck - which means that I got (*****)
i used to think that it is ok - for me to go to work all day
and now i'm eating on the dole - and looking like a jelly roll
ain't no taxman goin greet you in the afterlife
backpay hey no way i hope you loved your life
jobs - everybody wants a job...jobs - everybody gets a job
love love love your job or love love your life
love love them both and you're gonna win a prize
try working from just 9 to 5
work will be there waiting when the weekend flies by
jobs for you jobs for me jobs for all womankind
heck it beats standing in the unemployment line
work for love work for hate work for your bones
just remember work's at work and not at home
who is blue and who is red - coffins under every bed
in heaven i will work all day - to make the bill collectors go away
ain't no taxman goin greet you in the afterlife
backpay hey no way i hope you loved your life
jobs - everybody wants a job...jobs - everybody gets a job
outer space outer space outer space they got the jobs
inner mongolia-golia they got the jobs
we need some jobs in pittsburgh boys
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10. |
Work Week Death
04:02
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lyrics by steve kane
monday morning in the office by eight
debiting and crediting them off of your plate
making amends for the ones that i ate
i check the calendar that seals my fate
there's nothing i can do, there's no escape
my life's running out like an adding machine tape
friday night i die a work week death - paisley noose around my neck
and i take my last fermented breath - atop the covers i'm laid to rest (2x)
working late on wednesday counting the beans
debiting and crediting to vent my spleen
this job is as hard as the world is mean
it makes you crazy like the mujahideen
there's nothing i can do, there's no escape
my life's running out like an adding machine tape
friday night i die a work week death - paisley noose around my neck
and i take my last fermented breath - atop the covers i'm laid to rest (2x)
end of the week feeling worse for wear
debiting and crediting the cages bare
look up at a vent i smell death in the air
i'll have six empty bottles to be my pall bearers
oh there's nothing i can do, there's no escape
my life's running out like an adding machine tape
friday night i die friday night i die friday night i die friday night i die.....................................
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